Memorial speech for my dad 2006

This is the email I sent out two years ago:

I’d like to thank everyone that came out to my dad’s memorial yesterday. He would have been pretty overwhelmed by the response, I know I was. I’d also like to thank everyone that has been there for my mom as well.

Below I’ve included the speech I tried to get out yesterday- that was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. I’ve also included the lyrics to the song I wrote about him in 1991. My mom told me that after she played it for him- he cried. Still brings a tear to the eye when I think about that.

God bless,
Steve


JFM Memorial Speech by his son – April 23, 2006

Jim F Murphy passed away 12:30 am on April the 21st. He was peaceful, they had him on morphine so I don’t think he suffered. Tough thing to watch someone die let alone your own dad, but he had made his peace and went to his reward. As Coach Fergie said, “It’s a hard thing.” Dad had everyone around him he loved and had had time earlier in the day to say goodbye. I told him I loved him which up until yesterday was something I had never said in person to him.

He had suffered quite a bit in these last six months with his battle with cancer, but I’m here to tell you he fought until the end. He was really a FIGHTER. It was amazing to watch him even at the end. When I die I can only hope for a portion of the courage that he displayed going through this. And although it was tough on him, he had time to be around his loved ones and let them tell him how they feel. He also renewed his faith in Christ in this period of his life. I think he was lucky in that over the past two years he knew things were serious, and he had time to reflect on the afterlife. I really think that was a blessing which most of us can’t be guaranteed that luxury. We’re moving at lightning speed, and we don’t realize that life is but a second. And now, knowing that my dad’s gone, kicks me in the head in a way that can only scream – every moment in your life is precious. And all I’m saying is that if you aren’t sure about where you’re going when you die, make the time because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Looking back on my dad’s life, I can see the many friends he worked with. I remember one story about him at JYC, and they were doing a wastewater controls project. Another project manager, Weldon, was having trouble with one of their clients “the city of whatever”, he told them he was going to have to send Murphy in if they didn’t get their act together. The customer, looking horrified at the prospect of my dad coming in, said “Not the Sidewinder!” He played bad cop quite well.

He was also a great manager. It’s sad that today most people seem to have lost this art. My dad was a stand up guy who went to bat for the people who worked for him. People loved to work for him and remember him years and years after he worked for them. He was also amazing how he could get the best out of the people who worked for him and get them to be more productive than before. Now don’t get me wrong, if things didn’t work out, he would send in the Sidewinder. I worked with my dad at Team Controls as engineering aide in 1995. This was my first experience with computers and over the 3 years he helped get several of my friends to work there who eventually went to somewhat better things – Microsoft for them and my own company for me.

My dad’s passion in life next to his family was baseball. Man, he loved baseball. All the way back to Sulphur, Oklahoma, in the 50’s while he was still in high school, he dreamt of playing in the majors and getting picked up by a farm team for the pros. That life didn’t happen, and he went on to become an engineer. But he always kept that love, and I know he loved watching and coaching Todd and I play when we were young. Todd played catcher in high school when Coppell went to state, which I know meant the world to him. In later years, he would help coach select baseball teams around the area. Last week, I have one cherished time when we watched Pedro Martinez win his 200th game. He was dozing off, but after every inning, I would wake him by telling him what was going on. Another great memory is when he and I took a trip to Chicago, and we saw a Cubs day game at Wriggly Field so many years ago.

My dad was always the provider. He was there for us and always took care of things and didn’t want us to worry. He never would let me pay for meals but if you ask some friends like Rick, he’d say I didn’t want to pay. And that was true when I was younger, but now I want to pay because what he gave me as a son is beyond words. He was a great dad in a world where a lot of people don’t have that privilege.

My dad’s main love was his family. I know he loved to spent time with his grandbaby, Molly, and was excited about Lily’s and my new arrival this fall -- Moo Goo Gai Pan Murphy. The last thing I said to him was that Lily was going to make a boy, so she’s working on that. And I know he truly loved my mom - - the love of his life. Even though he didn’t always tell her how he felt and could get grumpy like all men, he truly loved her, and she knows that. And I think he was pretty proud of his boys, both of whom owned their own businesses and married some pretty special girls who can deal with the Murphy mystique.

My dad wouldn’t want us to be too sad right now. I know him pretty well, because in a lot of ways, I’ve become him. I inherited his humor, his Irish temper, his love of food that’s bad for me and an intense love of cursing loudly. His birthday is one day after mine and I know this year, when December 5th rolls around (his birthday,) I will miss him just like I am now. He was a great guy, and we’ll miss him.


Admission

And the days go by so mercilessly
I thought I was wise to the ways of man
People and places, work of the world, to make those demands
I’ve seen changes and life in unto me.

Chorus:
And I’ll ways knew you were there for me
And I know it’s something to have some who cares
It’s always there being your son
It’s always there being

Still the days go by carrying me and my dreams
People and places, work of the world, to make those dreams
But I found the truth as you once told me of

Chorus:

Bridge-
The ways of the world we’ll never understand
The ways of the world diseased, refrain

And the days have gone and things that must be said are left until the end
People and places, work of the world, demands and more dreams
Are nothing compared to how I love you

Chorus

Note: If you read the lyrics to the last verse it’s pretty ironic how I wrote 15 years ago – “And the days have gone and things that must be said are left until the end.” I never told my dad in person I loved him till two days before he died.

John Nieder - a Man of God that I Know

I've had the privilege studying under John's teachings in my men's group (Men of the Word) for several years and he is truly an amazing teacher. In an day and age when many preachers are toying with dangerous "new ways of doing church," John focuses on Biblical teachings. Since the 80s he has been on the air with "The Art of Family Living" and for several years has had a weekly show on John DeBrine's Songtime about prophecy which I would highly recommend in the day and age we live in.

In 2007 he started a church in Coppell called The Chapel which has been another avenue I've enjoyed hearing his teaching. He has authored several books, including What You Need to Tell Your Child About Sex (Thomas Nelson Publishers), Forgive and Love Again (with Dr. Thomas M. Thompson, Harvest House Publishers) and The Marriage Maker (Harvest House Publishers), and The Wake-up Call, Hope for the 9/11 Generation (Xulon Press).

In November John had to be taken to the hospital and he was unconscious for a period of time. During this I remember crying out to the Lord, "You can't take him yet we need him." Since that time he's recovered fully and appears to me that he's stronger than before his time in the hospital. The Lord can makes us stronger when he's challenged us.

John's website
John's blog

Top excuses why people don't believe...

1 - Bible has mistakes.
2 - Bible was written by man.
3 - Hypocrites in church.
4 - Religion causes war.
5 - Evolution
6 - Hell is unreasonable.
7 - I don't believe in it therefore it doesn't exist.
8 - Jesus didn't exist.
9 - Jesus didn't really die on the cross.

How do you react when people say this to you?
***Taken this from a WOTM radio show in Dec 2007.

Don Piper in Lewisville Thursday nite

Thursday nite I went to hear Don Piper speak at the First Baptist Church in Lewisville on April 3, 2008. He spoke about his near death experience (NDE) and painful recovery from a fatal car wreck he had in a rural Texas area in 1989. Check his website for more detail.

It's an interesting story how I came across his. One weekend in 2007 I was watching my baby while my wife was at work. During this time it was just easier to stay home so I was switching through the channels on TV and I stopped on one because I thought the speaker looked like Grissom on CSI. And as I watched with the sound off, I could somehow tell it was a NDE story. Interested I turned up the volume. The weird thing was they kept showing this bridge that looked just like a bridge that I used to travel to get to my grandmother's house in rural Houston about 20 minutes east of Huntsville. When he said Highway 19 I knew exactly where he had had his fatal accident. I remember holding my breath more than once going over that bridge many years ago. After the show was over, I called my grandmother and asked her about it. She said she hadn't heard about it possibly because they had not moved to Trinity yet. I went out and bought his book and when done gave it to my grandmother who read it.

I would like to make the point you have to be very careful with stories about NDEs or out of body experiences because if they are not of God, they are of the enemy. Piper's story is very convincing and his brief experience in Heaven brings joy to the heart of any believer in Christ. Everyone who hears about these stories must ask himself or herself if it challenges you to the feet of your Savior or towards the world?

During his talk he gave examples of people that his book had helped. A strong theme running through most of his message urged people to get a "New Normal," that many people who have suffered tragedy needed to turn the page and ask God to help them get on with their lives. He can ask this as he is a walking example of a person who had had a lot of horrible things happen to him but God used his tragedy to spread the gospel and help people. Another point he made was he believed that if you aren't dead "the main reason we're here is to get people to Heaven." I was pleased to hear him make an appeal to share the gospel.

I found his speech to be solid Biblically. He stressed that not all roads lead to Heaven and stated that Christ was the only way to Heaven. He also asked people to pray more "We have not because we don't pray." He made the distinction that God can say No to our prayers and that this isn't "name or claim it." From his own experience he said that he had seen that prayer can still produce miracles.


We were in Trinity last weekend for a funeral and I took a picture of the bridge where Don had his accident. Driving through again made me remember how tense I used to get when going through. Good thing it's no longer the main bridge used.

Watch this! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

Listen to this!!!

Or read this:
http://www.bibleword.com/rfyl.htm

PASTOR CARTER CONLON
CO-PASTOR, TIME SQUARE CHURCH - New York City

Street Witnessing before Easter

Last Saturday before Easter, I met up with Jon Speed of LostCauseMinistries and Ron Martinez. Being my first time out, I watched and observed and prayed. Most of the people they approached took the gospel tracts they handed out and some even stopped to talk about Jesus. It was very stirring to see some of the folks really listening to them, soaking in the gospel.

Some Christians tend to think of this style of witnessing is bad and possibly detrimental way of spreading the gospel (even though Christ and the disciples used this method) but when Jon and Ron spoke they showed nothing but love and respect and to be honest some of the folks probably weren't used to that. This is a quote from Jon's blog that I found interesting, "In DFW, the only ones who seem to get offended are either professing Christians or atheists who once claimed to be Christians."

Jon Speed
Lost Cause Ministries

Ron Martinez
Gospel to the Perishing

Rotting Corpse CD Review with mention of a Chick tract

I was looking on the Internet for a certain review of my band's CD from a couple of years ago. I found it. You have can follow the link and then you have to scroll down a bit because he reviews several bands before us but I also have it pasted at the bottom of the page.

The reviewer, named Todd, takes exception to my including a Chick tract in with the promo package I sent him. The seeker sensitive crowd would have a problem that I used a Chick tract and not a new hipper style of tract that's more tolerant. But if Todd read the tract, he read the gospel and that's what's important even if he didn't accept Christ on the spot. He's sarcastic but I think he also having a hard time believing that a member of Rotting Corpse would send him a Chick tract. And it's funny he calls me ex-Rotting Corpse bassist even though we were playing shows at the time apparently wanting to distance me from the band. I remember reading this and glorifying God that he mentioned the tract in the review because most people I send tracts to act like I never sent them. It's almost like the crazy uncle that the family pretends isn't doing something weird.

When I sent this tract several years ago, I only sent them with people who weren't paying customers so I sent several to web 'zines and magazines (promo material). For over the last year, I send them to whoever I mail material too. It's easy to fall into the "I don't want to offend" mode but what's important is sharing the message of the gospel.

For the 3 people that ever read my blog, please say a prayer or two for Todd.

His review:

Rotting Corpse - _The Demos_ (F*ck It Records)

Rotting Corpse emerged in the heyday of the Texas underground, churning textbook thrash alongside more notable acts like Devastation and noted for a founding member going on to form Solitude Aeternus. This disc (now in its third print) compiles each of the group's four demos, starting in 1986. While not too distinct from the Bay Area sound in general, this collection remains a fairly enjoyable and quality recorded with a slightly "tinny" production to offset the energetic riffing. There's trivia here as well, as the group's second demo was produced by Vinnie Paul Abbot. An eight-page booklet includes lyrics as well as tons of photos and show flyers plus a sticker and pin. My copy was actually mailed with a Jack Chick tract, which always cracks me up -- even more so after I found out that ex-Rotting Corpse bassist Steve Murphy truly does care about my soul's final abode in the great hereafter. Parties still interested may want to request a better companion piece by Mr. Chick, perhaps the more appropriate "Angels" or "The Sissy"?

Todd DePalma

The Chapel prepares for Easter Sunday service

Members of The Chapel who meet at the YMCA in Coppell prepared the area to the southeast of the main campus Saturday morning for an outside Easter Sunday service. In this area is an outside worship area with an old rugged cross. Church members cleaned the area and scrubbed benches in preparation of the Easter service. The service will be held at 10:20 am on Sunday, March 23, 2008. John Nieder, pastor of The Chapel, will lead the service. The service is open to anyone wanting to attend. The Chapel is a relatively new church which stresses Biblical beliefs in a small group environment.

For information or directions please check out: The Chapel

What is Deconstructionism? Postmodernism?

I first heard Todd Friel discuss these terms when WOTM was in Europe last year (2007). Many of the people in Europe they ran into tended to hold postmodernist beliefs.

So what is deconstructionism anyway?

A philosophy coined by French philosopher Jacques Derrida in the 1960s that interprets history by trying to determine the meaning from what is left out of the text or ignored or silenced by it. This philosophy is an extending the philosophical excursions of Nietzsche and Heidegger.

The example that Todd used was George Washington. He was a slave owner, therefore he's a bad person (even though history doesn't record this and actually shows him to have treated the slaves as family members). Therefore, everything he made contributions to (being a devout Christian who wanted his government to reflect his beliefs) is called into question and doubted, although there is no proof of it. A deconstructionist maintains these assumptions because they can't see or experience something in the past. They don't care if they have no proof of their assumptions. They interpret history by adding their prejudices and assumptions to history. They assume, based on these prejudices and assumptions, what has been left out, ignored or silenced in historical writings.

How does this effect us as Christians? When we talk about our Christian heritage in the building of the United States of America, they deconstruct it by finding faults in the founding fathers, as in the example above.

So when witnessing, be ready for this!

If your head isn't spinning enough already... How about postmodernism?

From an article by James Beverley in 2002:

"Postmodernism is a term of recent vintage, but the seeds of postmodernism hearken back to thinkers like Friedrich Nietzsche, Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, and Martin Heidegger who raised radical questions about the intellectual, cultural, and political ideologies of their day. Though none of these thinkers were postmodernists, per se, each saw that powerful elites use "reason" and "logic" and "truth" to hold humans in captivity in some form."

Postmodernism: "There is no single world view that captures reality, no master story (or meta-narrative) that underlies humanity. Reason is to be distrusted because there is no way to know which person's reason is reliable. There is no such thing as objectivity. There is no "truth" to appeal to for understanding history and culture. There are no moral absolutes. The West, with its colonialist heritage, deserves ridicule. Texts, whether religious or philosophical or literary, do not have intrinsic meaning. Ideas are cultural creations. Everything is relative. We need to be deeply suspicious of all ideas since ideas are used as tools to oppress and confine humans."

So a postmodernist has trouble knowing whether or not he is alive for sure...

How to witness to a postmodernist\deconstructionist?

When trying to witness to a postmodernist, they might counter with, “Christianity was created to control the masses.” They might also suggest that nothing can be known for certain; such as the fact that Christ was the Son of God who came to earth for our salvation.

When witnessing, obviously we don't want to stay in these arguments long because you will make no progress arguing with the intellect. Instead we might ask them, “Is there absolute truth?” If they say no, ask them when it is right for someone to rape someone else? Maybe from there, state that there are absolutes in life and then take them into the moral Law, the Ten Commandments.

This is a good article on witnessing to postmodernist.

Below in quotes was taken from this article and are good to keep in mind when witnessing to a postmodernist or someone with these leanings. To sum up below I think he's saying we've got the truth of God (positive) as opposed to the negative view that postmodernism tends to create within a person (when they are being open and honest).

"Our reasons for optimism include the power of God, the loneliness of postmodern culture, postmodern nihilism, and a vacuum of truth."

"By discovering the presuppositions of others and gently leading them to discover the problems with their own views, we can thaw the dogmatism of postmodern consensus and ceate a new openness to alternatives."

***I'd like to thank Jon Speed of Lost Cause Ministries for helping me with this article.

Bleach - a Christian rock band

One day as I pondered whether I had made even a tiny difference in anyone's life to accept Christ as their savior, my thoughts went back to the people who helped plant a seed with me. I had one friend who didn't share the gospel but did share his enthusiasm for the church he had been going and even invited me to a service. I attended once.

Another seed was planted by a Christian rock band that is now disbanded called Bleach. I first saw them late one Saturday nite on Christian television in 1998 with a video for "Children of Sod." They sounded like Weezer but even nerdyier. Even though I didn't accept Christ at that point, I bought their CDs and enjoyed the heavy rock music that had positive lyrics which I certainly didn't find in the lyrics of the other bands I listened to at the time. It's important to note that music was most definitely my god before coming to know Christ. I had played in bands most of life and whether happy or sad I turned to music to escape the cares of this world. I bought tons of CDs and downloaded music constantly looking for my next fix of good music.


original bleach

Bleach is an interesting band because they did two great albums with the original line up. By the 3rd album they lost the lead guitarist and bassist but produced I believe to be their best album. By the 4th album the band had only the rhythm guitarist, Sam Barnhart, and singer, Dave Baysinger from the original band, and the rest being new members. With the second blech they made 2 incredible albums and ended with a 6th final album called "Farewell old friends" in 2004. If you know anything about bands, this is a fairly incredible accomplishment but God apparently had his hand on their progress. I might be fooled but the members come across as amazingly humble and devoted to Christ. Don't fool yourself, not every band that calls itself Christian really gives a hoot about being devoted to Christ. This is still the music business, mind you.


second bleach

A funny story is that in the late 90's original bleach played in Dallas but I was afraid to go because I thought someone might preach to me. I didn't realize how much I need some preachin'...

I still listen to Bleach (orginal and second) quite frequently and recommend them to anyone that wants some heavier music but not with bad, nasty lyrics. I really don't listen to any other Christian bands at this time. Not that I have anything against them, I just have not heard anything that moves me.

They don't have a webpage anymore but there is a couple myspace pages for them:

http://www.myspace.com/thebandformerlyknownasmuffin

http://www.myspace.com/bleach717

original bleach

second bleach