This is the email I sent out two years ago:
I’d like to thank everyone that came out to my dad’s memorial yesterday. He would have been pretty overwhelmed by the response, I know I was. I’d also like to thank everyone that has been there for my mom as well.
Below I’ve included the speech I tried to get out yesterday- that was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. I’ve also included the lyrics to the song I wrote about him in 1991. My mom told me that after she played it for him- he cried. Still brings a tear to the eye when I think about that.
God bless,
Steve
JFM Memorial Speech by his son – April 23, 2006
Jim F Murphy passed away 12:30 am on April the 21st. He was peaceful, they had him on morphine so I don’t think he suffered. Tough thing to watch someone die let alone your own dad, but he had made his peace and went to his reward. As Coach Fergie said, “It’s a hard thing.” Dad had everyone around him he loved and had had time earlier in the day to say goodbye. I told him I loved him which up until yesterday was something I had never said in person to him.
He had suffered quite a bit in these last six months with his battle with cancer, but I’m here to tell you he fought until the end. He was really a FIGHTER. It was amazing to watch him even at the end. When I die I can only hope for a portion of the courage that he displayed going through this. And although it was tough on him, he had time to be around his loved ones and let them tell him how they feel. He also renewed his faith in Christ in this period of his life. I think he was lucky in that over the past two years he knew things were serious, and he had time to reflect on the afterlife. I really think that was a blessing which most of us can’t be guaranteed that luxury. We’re moving at lightning speed, and we don’t realize that life is but a second. And now, knowing that my dad’s gone, kicks me in the head in a way that can only scream – every moment in your life is precious. And all I’m saying is that if you aren’t sure about where you’re going when you die, make the time because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Looking back on my dad’s life, I can see the many friends he worked with. I remember one story about him at JYC, and they were doing a wastewater controls project. Another project manager, Weldon, was having trouble with one of their clients “the city of whatever”, he told them he was going to have to send Murphy in if they didn’t get their act together. The customer, looking horrified at the prospect of my dad coming in, said “Not the Sidewinder!” He played bad cop quite well.
He was also a great manager. It’s sad that today most people seem to have lost this art. My dad was a stand up guy who went to bat for the people who worked for him. People loved to work for him and remember him years and years after he worked for them. He was also amazing how he could get the best out of the people who worked for him and get them to be more productive than before. Now don’t get me wrong, if things didn’t work out, he would send in the Sidewinder. I worked with my dad at Team Controls as engineering aide in 1995. This was my first experience with computers and over the 3 years he helped get several of my friends to work there who eventually went to somewhat better things – Microsoft for them and my own company for me.
My dad’s passion in life next to his family was baseball. Man, he loved baseball. All the way back to Sulphur, Oklahoma, in the 50’s while he was still in high school, he dreamt of playing in the majors and getting picked up by a farm team for the pros. That life didn’t happen, and he went on to become an engineer. But he always kept that love, and I know he loved watching and coaching Todd and I play when we were young. Todd played catcher in high school when Coppell went to state, which I know meant the world to him. In later years, he would help coach select baseball teams around the area. Last week, I have one cherished time when we watched Pedro Martinez win his 200th game. He was dozing off, but after every inning, I would wake him by telling him what was going on. Another great memory is when he and I took a trip to Chicago, and we saw a Cubs day game at Wriggly Field so many years ago.
My dad was always the provider. He was there for us and always took care of things and didn’t want us to worry. He never would let me pay for meals but if you ask some friends like Rick, he’d say I didn’t want to pay. And that was true when I was younger, but now I want to pay because what he gave me as a son is beyond words. He was a great dad in a world where a lot of people don’t have that privilege.
My dad’s main love was his family. I know he loved to spent time with his grandbaby, Molly, and was excited about Lily’s and my new arrival this fall -- Moo Goo Gai Pan Murphy. The last thing I said to him was that Lily was going to make a boy, so she’s working on that. And I know he truly loved my mom - - the love of his life. Even though he didn’t always tell her how he felt and could get grumpy like all men, he truly loved her, and she knows that. And I think he was pretty proud of his boys, both of whom owned their own businesses and married some pretty special girls who can deal with the Murphy mystique.
My dad wouldn’t want us to be too sad right now. I know him pretty well, because in a lot of ways, I’ve become him. I inherited his humor, his Irish temper, his love of food that’s bad for me and an intense love of cursing loudly. His birthday is one day after mine and I know this year, when December 5th rolls around (his birthday,) I will miss him just like I am now. He was a great guy, and we’ll miss him.
Admission
And the days go by so mercilessly
I thought I was wise to the ways of man
People and places, work of the world, to make those demands
I’ve seen changes and life in unto me.
Chorus:
And I’ll ways knew you were there for me
And I know it’s something to have some who cares
It’s always there being your son
It’s always there being
Still the days go by carrying me and my dreams
People and places, work of the world, to make those dreams
But I found the truth as you once told me of
Chorus:
Bridge-
The ways of the world we’ll never understand
The ways of the world diseased, refrain
And the days have gone and things that must be said are left until the end
People and places, work of the world, demands and more dreams
Are nothing compared to how I love you
Chorus
Note: If you read the lyrics to the last verse it’s pretty ironic how I wrote 15 years ago – “And the days have gone and things that must be said are left until the end.” I never told my dad in person I loved him till two days before he died.
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